An intense love of pieces of things. Take the moment and break it up infinitesimally until it gleams from all the tiny shards of reflected existence. Can you build more from a thing that has been broken up into many other things?
Dissecting, disassembling, deconstructing–this is what has made us great while other parts of the world fall behind. We have created wonderful things from having the relentless drive to atomize something and rebuild something new from the ground up. These days, though, we mostly just tear things apart, and create a lot of garbage.
You might think that the better approach would be to try to make something whole again, but can you ever turn a broken thing back into what it once was? You are the product of five hundred years of deconstructing, DeCartes-ing, destroying native habitats and Native Peoples. You can’t just go pull your favorite brand of Eastern mysticism off the shelf and get busy re-building until one day the Earth looks like what God intended it to be.
You can’t do the same with yourself, either. You are a broken soul, cracked open with the hopes that this means you can now let the light in, but maybe that kind of thinking hasn’t resonated with you enough. You want to lose your pieces of self inside various important projects, grand activities, and escapist places–to pull yourself out of this time and place and reside temporarily in a happy time and place far removed.
This tends to bring a 1-1 input/output of satisfaction. The amount of happiness and enjoyment you get out of vacationing and reading light fare seems to be close to what you put into it. The work and money involved to get you to your destination so you can relax, and then a few days later start worrying about making all of the connecting flights for the return trip back–not to mention any inconveniences you endure while you are there–it ends up yielding you about as much joy and happiness as it costs you discomfort and misery. Of course, you also work overtime to try to rationalize away all of the cost involved, telling yourself that it is worth it. Of course it’s worth it, but is it JUST worth it–or more than worth it?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was an activity that brought you exponentially more joy and peace and happiness than the sorrow and pain you invest to make it happen? A true investment in happiness, a righteous fulcrum that yields great fruits for your tiny labors. That, of course, is subjective. Some people say that they get this already from church, socializing with friends, sex, etc.
But do they really get something bigger and more intensely wonderful out of their investment than what they invested? Or, is the yield ever-so-slight, and like money in a mutual fund, you have to wait for decades before it starts to make sense for why you delayed your gratification? Is there no instant gratification that comes in great abundance? Probably not. At least not for most of us. Sure, there are the lucky few Lotto winners who get much more out of something right away than what they ever put into it, but most of us are not life’s Lotto winners.
Even seeds you plant require constant watering, care and attention. Too much water and the plant dies, not enough, the same. Too much sunlight or not enough can kill it. The wrong kind of food in the soil will kill it. A disruption like a transplanting will kill it. Fifty years later, you have a fruit-bearing tree, or five years later, you get something like a strawberry plant. After many years of hard work and little to show for it, you get a few years of great yield that you can somewhat enjoy before you die.
Such is the world, at least the world we’ve been led to believe is so. Or, it could be, that we have created the world to be this way, because infinite abundance from slight investment seems to be evil or simply impossible.
But, what if it is possible for those who begin to believe that it is? The ones who have the mindset that they will reap and yield much great fruit from their modest investments? Then what? What if believing that you are a Lotto winner is the first step to winning the lotery? That starts to sound like a lot of New Age programs–but maybe there is some hard truth to this, some kind of intense practicality about it that isn’t just fluffy, magical thinking.