Dream–apparently somewhere in Austin there was the “Mini Horseshoe Library” which I discovered on a map while looking for parks that had horseshoe throwing pits. It was close to where I live, so we got in the car and drove there. Apparently, the library was in the shape of a horseshoe and wrapped around a small park with a playground. We went inside, and suddenly a bunch of people we knew from seminary started showing up and greeting us. Almost all of the books were sports-related books. We started on a 2nd-level floor, but the horseshoe shape of the library was designed such that the floor sloped down along a ramp as it curved around to the ground-level floor. The opening at the ground level did not end up leading to a park. Where the park and playground had been on the map was now a church, and it looked like the church I grew up in, and people seemed to be making me feel guilty for not going to church.
I halfway woke up from this dream, but kept thinking in a half-awake state that the horseshoe-shape would make for a great design for a tiny home. I found myself in another dream where a group of architects were helping me draw and execute my design so that they could soon have tiny homes that were easy to build.
I had another dream about having a ton of nose hair that I hadn’t trimmed, and I was back in the house I grew up in, so I went into my parents’ bathroom, where I thought I’d left the trimmers. The bathroom smelled and felt like my dad had just taken a shower in it, and the closet, which adjoined the bedroom, had a separate bed in it. My parents were sleeping in separate beds, but I seemed to know that this was an established thing in the dream.
I couldn’t find the nose trimmers, so I went up to my room, which was crammed full of clothes and bedding. I started pulling at a nose hair that turned out to be a thread off of a blanket that had somehow wound it’s way into my ear and out of my nose.
Most of the night, I was half awake with that sense of dread that you feel when you leave something behind that you were supposed to get done. Of course, I left a lot of things behind at the OR job I quit yesterday. But there is nothing left I need to get done there. My top priorities after getting back from NYC will be, learning more about the products we will be marketing and selling at I, then throwing myself into this job that kind of feels like my first real job ever. At least, it feels like my first important, adult-person job. Maybe it won’t be. Maybe it will be a bust like all of the others, but whatever…if I can hang on for ten years there, I’ll have the house paid off almost completely and enough retirement set aside to where I could go purely freelance and do nibbles on day trading for the rest of my professional life.
That’s not exactly my goal, but it’s kind of an “at least” scenario. Actually, I intend to completely throw myself into this role and attempt to really make something out of it–much the same as I always do, but now I come to these jobs with eyes wide open that there is always more expected of you than goes mentioned. People expect you to be greedy, selfish and full of ambition about your career. They are pretty disappointed when you don’t display those qualities.
For now, though, I don’t intend to research new companies or worry about old companies. I fly to NYC on Wednesday, and so there is plenty of time to laze about and do nothing between now and Wednesday, and then a full week after we get back to do a bunch of nothing.