I am tired of feeling like shit

I am tired of feeling like shit, just because I drank too much and got all worked up about something the night before to the point where I knew I would have a head full of regret the next day. I wish that I could say that this is the last night I will behave that way, but that’s something I’ve said many times before.

I must learn to train myself to refocus on the things that I need to remain focused upon. Getting distracted is easy. Inventing new ways to distract myself is a limitless endeavor.

The question I ask repeatedly, then: what is necessary?
I must remain mindful of my role as a father and husband. When I do things that besmirch that role, it causes me to wallow in feelings of inadequacy, guilt, self-defeat.
I must remain healthy and in reasonably good shape. By this, I mean a cut above the health of a few vegetables and fruits each day plus a walk with the dog. That’s not even baseline health. This is important because I will not be able to perform any of the other items on this list optimally without my health.
Focus on what matters to me. What do I want inside my brain at the moment of my death? Love of Christ, Love of Family, and as much of an understanding of math as I can muster.

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