Dreams

Dreams:
I was on the run from some kind of sinister organization, or I had simply run away from everything. I think my wife was with me in this one, though. I found myself at “Iowa State University,” or so it was described in the dream. Except, the campus was full of huge buildings made to look like old gothic castles. I mean, the buildings were so massive, that even though I have never been to Iowa State, and am not even going to bother to Google it for pictures, I am certain that these buildings outsized anything the real life. My wife and I came to a cafeteria where there were some prepared options sitting out on a buffet table. Our plan was to steal some pizza since we had no money. Getting out of the building once we’d gotten in was like in most dreams–everything changed and the way out looked nothing like the way in. Somehow, we ended up at a kayak adventure place that made fake whitewater rapids like the place in Charlotte. My kayak kept going under the water, though it still kind of floated.

Special blue tag to get into a heavily guarded group of VIPs who turned out to be just a bunch of retirees at a continuing adult education seminar. I was delivering them what looked like a work order from MCE but it had valuable information from other companies I worked for in it. Turned out, nobody had requested it and I wondered why I was there. I sat down, and found I was next to RW from UW. She grabbed my hand and held it to me as if she really loved me. In real life she always bristled around me and treated me coldly.

Dream of trying to find my parents’ old blue Ford Tempo in a parking lot by beeping my key as if it were a newer car. I kept hearing it beep but couldn’t find it. Finally, I discovered an old Chrysler Plymouth was making the beeping and my key fit the car and started it. The owner had installed a record turntable on the dashboar and had 70s hard rock albums.

Somehow got sucked into a militia compound that was trying to recruit me and this other guy, but mostly the other guy, who was some kind of paramilitary sort, but a lone wolf. He looked kind of liked Cory Feldman and talked and acted like him from the movie The Lost Boys. The militia was in the process of initiating a woman by blindfolding her and setting her on a big hammock swing that they swung back and forth (was like one some FB friend had posted in his feed). The militia looked mostly like you would expect, except they wore camouflage shorts with colorfully decorated women’s leggings underneath. The Cory Feldman character mocked them for it, but they were pretty pleased with their fashion choices.

I haven’t taken a sleep aid for two nights in a row, and so I don’t sleep as well, dream more, am crabbier during the day, but have more ideas and speak more articulately during work meetings. All in all, the sleep aid has its clear tradeoffs, and it is hard sometimes to decide if it is worthwhile to have or not.

Work has become pretty much like every other job–I’ve past the point where it’s challenging, interesting, easy–now it’s boring and routine and full of the usual unrealistic expectations that bosses have.

I am pretty pleased with the new home. Drove by the apartment to get some of the stuff we left over there, and was immediately reminded of the shitty parking, heavy bass and loud stomping above us. No pot smoking/dealing in the stairwell/nearby cars, but I’m sure it was about to start soon.

I keep having urges to get back into learning math, and I’m trying to analyze where these are coming from. Are they just the same old desire to prove to the world (and perhaps myself) how smart I am? A longing for truths that are immutable/undisputable? Simple boredom with religious studies, poetry, literature, etc., and a desire to get into more scientific reading again that will pass in a few months?

I suppose now that I have declared my clear intent to never go back to school and further my education in any sort of way, it really doesn’t matter what books I keep by my bed and read in my spare time. But, I also have this sense of wasting my time when I get fairly far into a random nove from the library and realize that it is doing absolutely nothing to enrich/better me, and only marginally entertaining me.

My son is progressing pretty rapidly with his development, even as most days it seems so non-discrete in his jumps of developmental progress. When I actually take a second to think about how he is intelligently forming more sentences/thoughts, and recognizing more words in books, I am happy that he is going to be a solid smart kid in his classes, but probably will never be one of those child prodigies who goes off to MIT at the age of 10. And I’m okay with that. I’d rather have a son who remembers his childhood as being pretty happy and normal than one who knows he was pegged as the weird/different outsider kid from almost day one.

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