The ultimate goal is to know myself as I truly am, with all artifice removed.

The ultimate goal is to know myself as I truly am, with all artifice removed. Wherever I land with this, I will accept it, and have peace. Too many times I have sold myself short in order to impress someone, please someone, or momentarily gratify myself. Should gender and sexual identity even be part of the equation? Am I, at my core, so far removed from these basic human identifiers, that it is unhelpful to ask whether I am more masculine or feminine at the heart of my true nature?
The other thing that vexes me: is there some kind of mechanism or entity that tricks me into having satisfaction over where I’ve landed or think I’ve landed? What’s more, if I refuse to be satisfied with where I’ve landed, does this entity provide me with a sense of satisfaction over never being satisfied? In other words, is wherever I land simply a false narrative meant to look like an ultimate truth, even if where I land is a state of never completely landing?
How could someone ever know their own true self with such trickery afoot? Descartes triumphantly proclaimed that at the very least, he knew that he existed. I suppose that’s a start, but I would want to know what the ultimate best and true way of being is for me alone. I don’t want to even begin to say to a single other human being: my way is also best for you.
What I would also not want to do: get caught up in yet another activity or project that consumes me to the point where it tries to define me, yet all the while I know that this thing is not quite me. This leaves me very little in the way of things or stuff to be acquired.

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