The shocking conclusion might prove to be that there was never anything to conclude in the first place. Most people aren’t walking around caught up in a fever-pitched expectation of life revealing great meaning around the next corner. Most people are content to accept that their lives are banal, and that entertainment and drama comes from sources that are clearly fiction or highly stylized retelling of the lives of a select few.
At any rate, the awful truth might be that you are a boring person who is happy and content doing nothing, being nothing. There is no key to unlocking a storehouse in your brain of superhuman mental powers.
You will derive as much profit from studying your nose hairs as you would from learning theology, reading the news, being an artist, exploring mathematical concepts, etc. You will find as much novelty and adventure peeling off a fingernail as you will on your vacation.
Which is all to say that the ability to sit and not be mercilessly pounded by a million demons screaming in your ear, to live in peace and restructure, re-align your thoughts, is to be highly privileged and makes you the recipient of a great gift.
The interruptions you receive are minimal.
Somewhere just inside your skull behind this furrowed brow is where the knotty puzzle still lies tangled. You feel as if there are still things to be sorted out, made right, before you die.
Most of the tangles are a result from misunderstandings, miscommunication between others. Mostly, people just go about their lives, living them with little sense of needing to extract great quantities of meaning from every last little second, but when they bump up against someone like you who does have this sense of need, they find themselves caught up in conflict they didn’t ask for and can’t explain. Both you and them are left holding grudges for reasons that aren’t particularly clear.