Two dreams remembered from last night.

One, I was back in my hometown or a similar rural setting. The family I was staying with convinced me to marry their daughter, and I said yes not to hurt their feelings. We were immediately married, but I never saw her again. The next morning, after spending the night alone, I woke up to realize I had just married someone I wasn’t attracted to physically, intellectually, emotionally or otherwise on any other level whatsoever. I had simply married her because I am a big people-pleaser and didn’t want to experience the looks of sadness and anger if I turned the family down. I spent the rest of the dream feeling guilty about having married her for such a dumb reason, and realized that if I got a divorce I might be falling into biblical sin. The thought of going on married to someone who I wouldn’t even get to see (not that I wanted to), or going on as a divorcee–both choices frightened and depressed me with this sense of oppressive doom that I was probably utterly damned. It took me awhile after waking up from the dream to convince myself that this hadn’t really happened at some point while I was still in high school.

Second dream saw me at an airport parking lot, where my Triumph Spitfire (my first car in real life) had been parked for twenty-five years. In real life, it had sat in my parents’ yard for a few years until I finally broke down and sold it for a lot less than the first offer that came to me. In the dream, I apparently could leave it parked at this airport indefinitely, but the upholstery was now completely rotten and molded out, and the car was basically disintegrating everywhere. The dream version of the car had a built-in jack system on it, where, if I pressed a button on the dashboard, the entire car was lifted up by a full-sized lift system. Unfortunately, because the car was so old and damaged and neglected, the jack got the car lifted, but I could only bring the car back down in piecemeal, and the jack wouldn’t fold back into the car. So, I spent the rest of the dream trying to lower the car without crushing myself, and put the car back together. Like in real life, I was ready to sell it to the next person who came along with cash in hand.

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