All of those moments during intense periods of work, school, living, where you think you won’t have a minute’s free time for reflection until you retire. But then, you get another window of time and you waste it. You nap. You fool around on the Internet. You daydream.
Life is really mostly free time with a few interruptions for responsibilities. But, during that free time, you are full of either an overwhelming sense of your abundance of choices or an abundance of guilt for not doing something.
The idea of reincarnation is attractive, but how exactly would it work? Is this particular world the only possible one you can be born in, or could you be born into an infinite number of alternate universes where you get to try your hand at being almost any kind of being there ever was? Or, is it possible that you could reincarnate into an alternate reality where you simply re-live your same life over and over again until you get it right like Groundhog Day? Or, could it be possible that when you die, you go outside of Time, and you could just as easily be born into a past time period or a future one, or even one where you overlap with you previous lived life–like ships passing in the night, or maybe you even end up marrying yourself–your spouse is simply a variant expression of the non-temporal you encased in this linear time world, as you are.
Or, maybe we all are just variants of one great, eternal Self, which amuses itself by pretending to forget who it really is, and plays at being various human beings, and when this Self is done playing, and the little human finite self dies, then the piece of soul that inhabited that human folds back into the eternal Self. If you die and go to hell, it means that you have succeeded in aggressively and utterly cutting your “rented out” identity off from the main Self, and the main Self would prefer to simply quarantine such a toxic form of sentience rather than rehabilitate it.
If you hate another human being, you are really just hating yourself. The same goes for loving someone else, or killing someone else. If you make love to someone else, that’s fine, but if you use them for sex with the intention of dominating them or simply using them up and discarding them, then that’s not okay–that’s the same as murder. Marriage is like a perfect expression of how it is to return to the Self–so, if you commit adultery, you are in effect, cutting yourself off from the Self.
Or, it may not be like this at all.
I mean, I would like to believe that we have infinite chances to redeem ourselves, with the goal and hope of one day finally achieving some level of enlightenment for returning to the Self or God or Godhead to give it greater glory than it had before–adding to infinity, as it were. I would like to think that humans who are born into suffering and misery will be given the opportunity to live out their next life in a world where they are the Brad Pitts and Royals and other wealthy, happy celebrities. When we die, we realize how valuable a life of suffering is, and we seek it out, but we also understand how much more exceptionally valuable it is to be given the opportunity to help someone who is suffering, so many of us seek that out as well–except we mostly lose our way in the maya and end up seeking out more and more for ourselves which is nothingness, instead of helping others.