The dude’s dude life. To not try to be a man’s man–all of the dude’s dudes would recognize the try-hard aspect of this because I am who I am. But, a dude’s dude is not an alpha male, nor is he the modern, hipster appropration of the beta male–though some hipster beta males probably fit in with dude’s dudes.
Dude’s dudes know that I am not one, and they flinch when they see me coming. A few dude’s dudes with poor dude’s dudedar might strike up a conversation with me, and then they immediately shut themselves down and run as far away from me as possible. They don’t know who or what I am, but they know almost instantly that I am not a dude’s dude. I might seem to some of them to be too immature, others might see me as too mature–too much like their pops or granddad. A lot of dude’s dudes probably look at me and think that I must be gay or autistic.
I certainly got pretty far with taking my masculinity up a notch or two during those summers that I bought all of those dude’s dude movies and talked a lot about owning a motorcycle. But, there is a limit to doing that, which a dude’s dude knows, and I didn’t. If you’ve never served in the military or haven’t been MMA training for years, you stop at a certain point with your dudeness before it crosses over into manly manness. It also didn’t help that this was the summer a twenty-five year old lady just out of college became my boss and casually mentioned that she used to ride the exact make, model and color of motorcycle I had been coveting with her dad on weekends until she outgrew it and decided it was time to be a responsible adult.
I know some dude’s dudes. They are not my friends, because they have tons of dude’s dude friends, and are mostly not interested in befriending some guy who would want to talk more about Jesus and the true nature of being human vs. sports. They haven’t even spoken to me that much–like I said, a dude’s dude knows when you aren’t one right away. Now, let me be clear–some geek’s geeks can also be dude’s dudes but not that many of them can pull it off. However, your average geek’s geek would expect a high level of technical knowledge plus comic book/science fiction movie knowledge. Dude’s dudes can often be brahs, but not all of them. Some brahs are far enough along in their brahhood that they are practically manly men, and others are just too immature–they will become dude’s dudes in the near future but for now, they are just fraternity brahs, or plain brahs. Manly men can also hang easily with dude’s dudes, but they most often choose not to. Dude’s dudes always welcome manly men–but, most dude’s dudes haven’t served in the military or played sports beyond collegiate intramurals.
Most dude’s dudes do have some college in them, but not necessarily a full BA/BS. But, having a BA/BS or even a Master’s degree doesn’t prevent you from being a dude’s dude–of course, it depends on what your Master’s study program was. MBAs are always welcome. But, if you were in school for more than six years after high school, you probably should be a lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc.–and by then, you’ve become a specialized kind of manly man–the fabled captain of industry. Which is not to say that all lawyers, doctors, advanced engineers, etc. are incapable of being dude’s dudes…but the amount of refinement and grooming has usually turned them into real men, though not often the manly men of professional sports and the military.
It is literally impossible to be a dude’s dude after the age of 40 without some sense of irony about it. After 50, you are kind of a joke unless you are dudely enough to be like The Dude.