i am responsible

i am responsible for everything you know that i know.
some pastors say “name it and claim it,” and others say,
“pick up your cross and follow Him.” believe me, i know.
but what i claim is all of your sorrow and pain.
if you hate this president, believe me, it’s my fault he’s there
in the white house.
if you hated the last one, then trust me, you don’t want to know–
just how true it is that i’m the one who put him there.
i am responsible for everything i know and if you know it, then i own that, too.
believe me, the cross isn’t too much too bear, i’ve been swinging a light, fake plastic one for years.
i deserve this heavy cross, this cross that is heavier than urianium.
imagine the universe right before the big bang, all dense and compacted.
imagine someone who just died at the bottom of the ocean when their submarine imploded.
that’s how much my cross weighs, and i’ll bear it–
you have your cheap, plastic cross, but no need to wear it.
you fought and survived so you could hear the praises of the people
while i drank and caroused to be nearer to their curses.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that starting today, i’m making up
for all of the personal responsibility i didn’t take
during the years that you were ready to take a bullet on my behalf.
this isn’t a happy, hippy song where the cross is metaphorical, allegorical or otherwise figurative in some special way.
this is a cross that i really couldn’t afford, but it is your reward for your present, pleasant behavior in your neighborhood association with its crisp golf course.
of course, nobody can afford to wear a cross for very long, but someone has to carry one if we are going to keep this thing we call our faith lit up as a beacon glowing into that dark firmament where once the light is snuffed there will be no more opportunities to pick up a cross and carry it for anyone.

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