The Lord God has been with me, everywhere I go. No matter how much I wander or stray from His Path, He is there. In all of my times of darkness, when I lived for booze and longed for sex, God placed stumbling blocks before me to prevent me from severing ties with Him completely. When I stop trying to rationalize it, or imagine myself explaining it to a non-believer, and I simply let myself fall back into His arms, I sense something bigger at work inside of me that is bigger than all of my futile attempts to make something of myself.
I was interrupted from typing this at the word “sense” because I had to stop to assist my wife with our quest to get signed up for health insurance following her employment. Of course, I went from being a man starry-eyed at the notion of putting all of my faith and trust in God to becoming a harried soul, fraught with worry that the world would come crashing down upon my head. Losing my trust in God is really that easy, and happens that quickly.
But, I would be really hurting myself and my progress to say that nothing has happened in the past ten years. The struggles of ten years ago are just not there anymore. The angry young man upset that the world wasn’t going his way or giving him the recognition he so richly deserved is now but an empty shell that has mostly been left behind as I crawled out of that skin to be who I am today.
Why should I color my expectations for the next few years in any particular way? Things will go as they will go.