I am in the middle of so many things that have to happen in order for us to be ready to move to Austin, that I can get extremely frustrated when I have down time and can’t be focused on getting something done.
I am unhappy about how our realtor has turned out–he’s just as bad as the first guy in a lot of ways, though maybe nicer, though I bet that schtick has gone out the door after the way I laid into him today. I am sick of all these bullshit gimmicks these guys use and claim make a difference, but they are a lot like most faith healing BS, where the lack of faith becomes the reason for why you didn’t get healed. I think there will be someone looking to buy a home like ours in the next month or so–if not, we can rent it out. It’s really quite simple and shouldn’t require wasting time on staging consultants and professional photographers.
I would be quite happy if housing for the rest of my life didn’t have to consist of ownership–some sweet pastoral or chaplain gig in an area where there is a nice manse next to the quaint old parish church would be just fine. The renting life isn’t especially better, but at least the cuts they make upon you are smaller. Everyone wants a piece of the pie when you buy or sell a home.
I would likely only consider owning a house again if we are 100% convinced that we have found the perfect community to live and work and worship and be educated, and somehow, at this stage of my life, I am pretty skeptical of that happening. I know that God can do amazing things, but it may just not be in His plan for me to be a homeowner.
I hope that after school, there will be options to live and preach somewhere outside of Texas that is unique and desirable– New York, California, Charleston, New Mexico, Oregon, perhaps. I will probably wither away and die relatively young if I finally am convinced for good that God wants me to remain stuck in Texas until the day that I die.
The election this fall will determine everything. If Trump wins, then we probably will be faced with the certitude that L will be raised in a police state where we are persecuted for not toeing the line. I don’t think I am exaggerating much at all. I suppose this is the time where I am really tested to see just how much faith I have. Do I have enough faith in God to believe that He will do big and amazing things in my life that align themselves with some of my oldest dreams, or do I think that God will merely make things acceptable?
When dealing with this realtor, I can now see just how easy it is for people and circumstances to derail me from my goals. This is why I ended up in Austin instead of NYC in the first place.