The good that was in the past. How to carry it forward without idolizing it or turning it into excess baggage.
The endless will to turn a corner and wake up as someone new.
The constant pull to imagine what it would be like if you could start over again.
The desire to have the arms of a church completely around me.
I want to wake up and not be the same old lazy me anymore. I have not desire to live a life of ease. But, when I wake up and find myself working hard, I am working hard for all of the right reasons. I am not working hard to feed the greed of some startup bunch or pretend life.
Getting lazy and fat is not an option. Being content can only be so in the sense that I have completely re-oriented myself to the right path. But, contentment and laziness should be as far apart from each other as possible.
I don’t work like I used to work…I rise to the level of ease my present life offers me. Where sleep during the day is offered. Where no reason for exercise or healthy eating is offered. Where staying hard and strong out of the comfort zone to be in the place of service can be simply wistfully dreamed about instead of attempted.
In order for any dreams to mean anything at all–the act of daily, diligent work must be present. Not simply the work you have to do to remain in your state of middle class comfort, or the work you need to do to remain married or some other state of ease–but the work that makes you uncomfortable–the work that changes you.
Don’t ever mistake being busy for doing work. All of the wrong busy things are distractions and trips away from the righteous path. Consider carefully what needs to be done and do it. If you are balking at doing it, consider why and change your approach.
Reading a lot of different books (or nibbling on them), and re-arranging them on your shelf–this is not preparing you for the future. Dive into the boxes that need to be sorted and purged. Sell or give away what isn’t needed but isn’t trash. Finish books you are reading.
Revisit what you need to do constantly.
Get up and run.