I sold the condo, and I will be paying down the last round of debt incurred to pay for the windows of the condo. I will be turning 40 debt-free, and free of the burden of the condo. There is money in the bank, and the plan is to visit NYC before starting seminary. I will start seminary at the age of 40. My first full-time pastoral engagement will likely be the year I turn 44. My plan is then to preach at various suburban and rural churches for 10 years or more, and then spend the last years of my second career preaching at a larger, urban church.
The future is God’s, though, and I will go where I believe He is guiding me. If he sends me on a mission trip, or takes me down the road to becoming a professor, I will accept these things. If I retire at 69, or retire at 74, it will all be according to God’s plan. What happens in the world and this country is outside of my control. I can pray for smooth sailing and a blessed ministry, but I can only accept by faith whatever it is God wants me to have and experience.
I am excited for the next three years of seminary, and am going to be focused on that for now. The opportunity to have another go at an education is one that I shouldn’t take lightly or for granted. Most people do not receive or take this kind of blessed opportunity. They are resigned to who they are and what they do by the time they are 40. I simply refused to accept that being a button-pushing web guy for yet another marketing team at another technology company or creative agency was going to be all that God had in mind for me.
Life must continue to be about pushing my boundaries, and digging in where I am expected to be someone else, per the expectations of humans. I am not my parents, and I am not who I was last year. I am the man that I am continuing to become–and this includes the happiest memories of the past, but doesn’t need to include any definitions of self that didn’t work.