Reach back inside the mind, and chaos is all that you will see

Reach back inside the mind, and chaos is all that you will see. An infinite number of concepts vying for attention. Straight lines don’t appear in nature–maybe you can find one or two, but you won’t find them like you do among things made by humans.

Since God made nature, but didn’t directly make buildings in cities and books and furniture and gadgets–does this mean that God’s Kingdom consists of amorphous shapes and only natural things? Or, because Man is made in His image, Heaven will be nothing but straight lines of perfect geometry?

Why would anyone want to come back here after they die? Maybe in a scenario like this one: an angel asks you, is this the life you want to present to God for judgement? If the answer is Yes, then your most recent life will be judged for Heavenly fitness. If, No, then your memory is wiped and you are sent back to Earth. But, the number of Christian wombs are disappearing, and so your chances of living a life that will get you to Heaven are also disappearing. What’s more, God will come to judge the quick and the dead one final time–that time may be today or it may be millennia from now.

That scenario is, in many ways, more frightening than even simple Christian doctrine around a notion of living once, and being judged once during the end of days.

So, why on earth would you want to sin at all?

Sin, and the demons that help me perpetuate my sinning, came along before I knew better. No, that’s not quite right. I did know better, but I had stopped believing in Heaven and Hell. And then, sinfulness became an easy habit. Cursing, taking the Lord’s name in vain, losing my temper to wrathful demons, being envious and prideful, lustful and full of drink. All things that would have shamed me at age eleven or twelve, but I had lost my ability to feel shame of any kind. The only shame I felt was the anticipation of shame that would come with getting caught by human beings.

My dear mother must of interceded for me in prayer, even after she left this earthly plane. There is no other way to explain it. I can’t speak for others, but for my own self, the concept of total depravity without God’s grace makes perfect sense.

The idea that I must have an Other to do battle with, and looking for that Other around the corner in the eyes of other people. The only Other that needs to receive so much hatred is Sin itself, and the evil forces that perpetuate Sin inside of me and others. But, even with this insight, it is better to run to the Light than to stand on shaky ground and attempt to battle the entities of Darkness.

With this, I should be looking for the good in the eyes of others. There is so much more about my life and the people I’ve met that is good. The bad only comes once in a blue moon–but, for whatever reason, it because extremely easy to remember only the bad, as if it were perpetually and constantly striking my soul.

Walking toward the Light, I begin to see just how many things don’t matter much at all. Most things are irrelEt and insignificant–just things that happen without any sort of good or evil attached to them. I don’t need to obsess over anything but the Lord Jesus and His saving powers.

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