Latest themes: what am I in control of, and what is God in control of?
Ruts, how easy to get stuck in them, how hard to get out of them.
Letting go of everything — I possess nothing.
How easy it is to get caught up in adoration of things. It borders on idol worship. A book is assigned more potency than it is really capable of delivering. There is no magic here on earth, but there is a God. It’s a lesson nobody who doesn’t want to grow up would want to hear.
Immature people think there is plenty of magic, or at least remain hopeful of it, but don’t want there to be a God. God is too bossy and mean. With magic, they get whatever they want without having to work for it. With God, they have to work at their faith every single hour, and often don’t get what they want.
People with no magic or God are few and far between — many without God think they fall in this category, but you soon find all the places and things and ways they go to assign magic to in hopes of yielding magic. Magic in art, music, pop culture, sports, social rituals, video games, etc.
People who truly possess no magic or God might be coolly content, but this state is hard to hold once you get caught up in terrors you can’t explain or define with science.
The will to escape — escape in books, words, art, music. Surround myself with things that cause people to consider me as being cultured. Jazz, classical music, post-modern art, poetry, classical literature, philosophy. I imagine that all of the most highly refined creations of man combined equal a fraction of a percent of what God can produce in the form of living things and worlds beyond our own.
A lot of Christians seek God in a distant future perfect realm, and a lot of atheists hope to find something akin to God in a humanitarian utopia. But, what if the humanitarian utopia is of God, his Kingdom come–only, we will never get there unless we acknowledge the importance of God participating in what we do, and as Christians learn to put aside our own self-generated visions of a kingdom come, and who will be there.
I love God.
God loves me.
I am small. God is not. God is bigger than everything I have ever witnessed or conceived in my brain or my dreams. God is Love.
I assign values like good or bad, because I want to make everything into a system of values. What is good or evil is known by my conscience, which I have marred and disfigured in a race to be special in the eyes of other human beings.
I want so badly to share more of my love with more human beings, but I don’t want to scare any more human beings away.