The first thing you have to do is see yourself going into an inner world in which your ego disappears. Your “I” self no longer matters. You have to move past the temporary pain and concern for the things of this world, past memories, and sense being in its purest form.
The chance to simply exist without being in torment is a privilege. Many beings don’t exist unless they or tormented by someone or something. Helping relieve other beings of their torment, when possible, is important.
You do not own yourself. You don’t own your body. It will wither and die. You don’t own your mind. As a local “I” mind, it will die with your body. As a nonlocal mind, it isn’t your mind it is Mind.
As long as you think you own yourself, you will try to do what’s best for yourself. You will try to preserve yourself in some state that you believe to be the correct version of yourself. The earthly powers know this, and this is how they enslave you. As long as you claim ownership of yourself, you are at their mercy. You depend upon their economies, their rules. You are more likely to go fight and die for your State than for your God.
But, the earthly powers also know that the God you claim to be yours is also seen through your eyes as being a thing worthy of ownership. And so, even if you claim to fight for your God instead of your State, the earthly powers own you because they will simply marry your God to their State–explicitly or not.
God, as an all-powerful being immune to the forces of this reality, doesn’t need defenders. God doesn’t need crusaders or jihadists. But your God and God are two different things. You stopped making idols of wood, clay or bronze, but you now make idols out of your imagination and your thoughts.
You own nothing.
If the State comes and takes away what was supposedly yours, you shouldn’t mind a bit. You don’t own it. When you die, you will return to a God consciousness, or you will remain convinced that you are an “I”, and you will return to this world to be enslaved again.
As long as you continue to believe you own even the tiniest little fragment of You, you will return to this world to be owned by someone or something.
You could meditate on a statement like “There is no ‘I’,” and it might be of some help. But, there is a temporary You, and for the sake of language, you can and should refer to yourself in the first person. The problem arises because the word “I” is associated with ownership. You believe still that if they took away everything you own, took away your family, and gained complete control of your body, you would still have a mind and a soul that they couldn’t take. Except, these belong to God, and God will decide what to do with them.
Is it possible to meditate on the true God, and not get caught up in meditating on a god of your creation? Yes, but you should be careful as to how you define God and your relationship to God. You should be inclined to state that you know little or nothing about what God is, other than God is all-powerful and all-loving, and Evil exists as a means for God to understand who truly loves him from their own free wil.
The concept of Tzimtzum expresses best how this works.
Does relinquishing ownership of your “I” potentially open up the State to control you and your body? You may think it does, but the fact is, the earthly powers of this world already do control you and your body in this local, timespace continuum.
It goes back to serving two masters. You can claim ownership of yourself and your destiny, and be deluded, and really be at the mercy of earthly powers, who are really controlled by Satan. Or, you can relinquish ownership of yourself to the true God, the one that does not need you to defend this God.
I don’t want to just feel good. I want to feel free of bondage to earthly things. I don’t want to just feel happy, but I want to feel tapped into the well of perpetual peace, love, joy that comes from a relationship with God.
I am tired of doing, thinking or saying things that might get me a ticket to hell. But, I seem to be caught up in some of them in ways that I can’t ever fully understand. If I think that I can just heave-ho, cowboy up, college try, boostrap, etc. my way to having more faith in God, and in turn, God will bring me more blessings, and I will cycle my way up out of my abyss–then I am sadly mistaken. Putting more faith and trust in God is a childlike act, an act of weakness, submission–it comes from a place of utter lacking in any of the things that the world adores. If I approach it from a place of strength or possession of self control, power, might, will, etc., I will be defeated before I begin.