Emotions. Moods. Identity. Being who I am, becoming who I was designed to be.
A shower helped.
I was getting pretty full of it. Anger, chaos, no focus. Sadness, over everything and everyone I’ve lost.
And then, the sun came out.
I felt full of purpose again. Confidence. Focus. Straight up knowing where I am headed and why things have to happen the way they do.
I need instruction and I need to keep my intellect strong, but I can’t go disconnecting with all of that which makes me careen about like a ping pong.
Or, I should say, the very act of disconnecting causes me to not have a clear handle on my emotions.
I can’t speak for anyone else as to the proper way to be. I can only speak of my own struggles and shortcomings.
I say this because my mind immediately goes to hearing voices of “real men” telling me that emotions shouldn’t be an issue and me responding in a way that is critical of them. I don’t need to have conversations with anyone in my head — people from the past or straw men of the future, or anyone else for that matter — unless they are God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit.