So, I woke up this morning and I just felt like boppin’

So, I woke up this morning and I just felt like boppin’. I didn’t want to get focused. You could make a schedule for me full of project milestones, and promise me a glass of fine bourbon when I accomplished each task, and I would be more inclined to just bop. The movement of it all is the key.

The life goes by, and if I stop moving I get sad.

I keep moving, and I don’t think much about any of it. I don’t think about the gray hairs that started popping up at the age of 16 and never stopped, or the hair that started falling out at the age of 26 and never stopped. Clearly, my body isn’t going to pause and let me be young for a couple of decades, so I can’t really slow down, either.

I am far away from home. I have walked the miles and miles to places in my mind that seemed attractive from afar, only to get there and find that they’d all long since been abandoned.

So, I am now headed home.

You might see me sitting still, my facial expressions unmoved, and my body at rest, but you don’t see me on the inside. I’m alive.

I’m alive on the inside, and on the move. I am a dynamic being. “I am being a dynamic being.”

“I am” is just too static for me. In this world, you do or say something one time, and everyone brands you as that thing from now until the day you die.

I want to change every single day. I’m on the move.

I am not a traitor to a few basic principles, but I refuse to hold onto things that aren’t working for me anymore.

I am going to pray to the Lord above to give me the strength to send out thoughts of love and peace to even those who are doing the worst of the bad things. To help me make an energy field of love so strong that when it is pushed in their direction, they can’t help but fall to their knees weeping at the error of their ways and fear of the terror of eternal damnation.

But, most of all, I want to send waves of your precious love, Jesus, so that others might experience it as well and know that you are the true Way and the Light. I know that I am an imperfect vessel, but you don’t need to wait around for me to become perfect to use me for the greater good.

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