I admit that I woke up this morning feeling just a little depressed that the weekend was over, and I clung to the blanket of sleep and dreams violently, trying to keep it pulled over me. Of course, the blanket receded like the morning tide going back out to sea, and the sunlight left my brain of reality exposed like a hermit crab.
Part of the reason for all of this is simply due to the fact that on the weekend, I can pretend for just a little while that I have more going on in life than I really do, and that my ship is still set to come sailing in to take me off to a much more glamorous life and profession than the one I have.
Once Monday morning hits, the reality of being me becomes all-too-clear again, and I have to decide how long I want to wait before I walk into the home office, fire up the employer’s computer and pretend to care about their business.
Most of them don’t arrive at the company headquarters and start checking their email until 9 AM, so, of course, I could do pretty much as I please until then. Naturally, it’s a guarantee that someone will have an urgent request they sent out early in the morning if I don’t bother to check the email before 9 AM.
I am missing being by the ocean, hence all of the badly cued metaphors about the sea. I don’t care which ocean, gulf or bay I go to, I just want to be living by a saltwater body of water. I want the briny air getting into my skin and remaining hair. I want to be able to look out of a window at least once a day and see the sea.
A million companies are hiring right now in SF, and I’m stuck here in a small town in Central Texas for a variety of reasons, but none of them will probably look that good ten years from now when I’m really tired of this place and we can’t seem to remember why we are still here.
I can’t lie that there are times where I just want to shelve all of the so-called spiritual progress work I’m doing, and turn on the television, veg out, and have any reading that I do be some random spacey-spaceman or spyey-spyman kind of book that is without any redeeming value whatsoever.