You try to break free. You have to break free. You’ve been playing some of these songs for almost a decade, now. The same old habits, and the same old thought patterns. The same descent into what might have been, and only if.
You are entering a period in your life when you can begin to expand again. Nobody is limiting you or stopping you. You don’t have to pretend that the people who you work with will one day read your blog and find themselves in the characters you describe. You don’t have to wonder if God will punish you, or your wife will kick you out of the house.
Think about what it means to be who you are in the time and place in which you live.
This is pretty important, and pretty amazing. The older you get, the more you realize just how much your DNA and your culture made you who you are. You are about as far from being a self-made man as a man can get. You would have been a poor man if you’d had poorer parents, and a rich man if Mom and Dad had been richer. Who you are today has everything to do with the hard work of others, and little or nothing to do with you.
But, this is nothing to be despondent about. You don’t need to feel bad that you didn’t possess a strong will and ego to power through every single group you encountered to become their leader. You don’t have to cry over the fact that you are not exceptional.
What you have, is the great gift. You have the great gift of still being alive on this plane of existence.
Each time you draw a breath of air into your lungs you are receiving another great gift. Each time you get to watch a movie, read a book, fly somewhere or eat a great meal, you are bearing the proof that you are truly an extremely wealthy man. You live like a king compared to almost every other single human being who has ever lived in the history of humanity.
You can hop over to Wikipedia and learn anything you want to, without going to the public library, or even pulling down a heavy tome off of a shelf. You can click onto a pizza delivery chain’s website and have food and beverages brought to your door.
Listen, you should start paying more attention to what the voices inside your head are saying. Beyond the broken record voices that you created once upon a time there are voices who don’t speak of vengeance and how poorly life treated you. There are voices of love and excitement. There are voices letting you know that there is still so much life left to be lived. There are voices that can guide your mind where to go on the days when you don’t have the means to drive or fly anywhere. Take advantage of the voices in your head. Nobody out there has to know.
Let’s get started, shall we?