Tonight, I am writing purely for writing’s sake. I will attempt to journal some of my recent life happenings, and perhaps try to avoid descending into bitching too much about whatever is irritating me at the moment.
In all things, I should be perfectly honest when putting down words for myself. I want to be, in spite of how it is always likely my words might get read by a future wife, and misconstrued or even become hurtful things.
I am entering into the fourth month of dating a, and our initial intensity has cooled a bit, but I think we are both still quite enchanted with each other. I’m hoping that we can renew the intensity a little bit, and then a clear choice will be before me about the next step for the relationship. We’ve come too far, really, for it to end without a satisfying reason. But, we still have a lot of work to do to cement our bond. For instance, we’ve yet to say “I love you” to each other.
At the church volunteering activity tonight, I got to meet some of the other young adults, and form an overall impression. There are some very attractive ladies in the group. Most of them have boyfriends, but the one who sits in the same area as a and me does not. Her name’s n.
I met n about the same time as a, and found myself talking to a woman always running on to somewhere else in the moments after church where people try to get to know each other. My first impressions of her were that she is a smoking hot dresser, and has some sexiness that is appealing to the male. However, after talking to her at greater length tonight, I have to wonder if she carries around much of an inner life.
One thing is clear–a is more compatible with me than anyone else I’ve met at the church yet. I don’t find myself laboring to explain something to her, or dumbing down my thoughts. She can add to the conversation in delightfully surprising ways. Part of me wished she’d been there tonight–she’s still down in New Braunfels with her parents, where the four of us went tubing yesterday.
Part of me was kind of glad that I got to meet the other young people at the church without the “girlfriend crutch” to lean on. Sometimes, you find yourself at parties or other social gatherings reluctant to leave her side, both out of the comfort and security it provides to have a readymade conversation partner, and also out a concern that she might get jealous if she sees you having too many enjoyable conversations with other single females.
I was a little perplexed that this group all stood as a team of about fifteen people behind the kitchen wall while the homeless folks we were feeding found their tables and began their conversation and dinner together. Certainly, all fifteen of us were not required to be back there to serve them and make sure the brownies didn’t burn. This was probably a good experience for everyone. Eventually, some of the young adults joined the families at their tables, and maybe as a group this is something we all should do more often.
I am now sitting here trying really hard not to be annoyed by the incessant bass that a neighbor down the street is pumping out. This isn’t a neighbor in the new condo complex. Last thursday was the first time I’d experienced this living over here. I’m hoping this is just some kind of special family celebration, and not about to become a regular thing. There are enough of us gentrifiers living over here now, I imagine someone will call and complain if the bass hasn’t ceased by 10 PM.