This is an attempt to define the ideal E, in the sense of an E at 34 as envisioned by E at 24, but with the given that Real E at 34 isn’t quite there yet. It assumes no major world, self or familial catastrophes in the next ten years. It assumes a world essentially like the one E has been allowed to operate in for the past ten years. It doesn’t attempt to know what God wants E to look like–rather, it is an attempt to visualize an E of this world, free of the fetters of lifelong curses, stigmas, dogmas, unfounded assumptions–but balanced with a realistic outlook of what E is capable of (and really wants).
In other words, it is simply the E that E would like to be, given similar past opportunities.
The goal becomes composing a young man intent on growing up, acting his age, finding his footing in social areas where he is many years behind, and becoming all-around more well-developed.
1. E is free of the “pity party” mentality. E doesn’t seek friendships and relationships with any hidden expectations. What people see is what they get. E doesn’t create endless mini-crises for himself throughout the day in hopes that later others will commiserate with him, or that booze will assuage the pain of a million self-inflicted little wounds. E doesn’t hold grudges toward others when he is truly slighted. E resolves problems that are solvable, and gives the rest to God.
E doesn’t waste time in misery over those who do not want to be his friend. If a friendship/relationship connection just isn’t happening, it’s probably for the best.
E’s attitude toward women represents a fundamental shift that cannot be stated or meditated upon enough. While he has for years understood the basic patterns of behavior that most sane women find unacceptable, he’s only very recently come to the realization that many of his gambits for a relationship with the opposite sex are driven by subconscious urges to have them “come to his rescue” each time he has a little mini-life crisis.
2. E is free of the “sex weirdness.” E operates under the assumption that he is an average, straight white guy with average, not peculiar sexual desires.
3. E is free of the urge to drink to escape. E drinks socially, and only dares get drunk under circumstances where it is clearly acceptable to everyone in the room–and even then carefully considers whether it is in his own best interest or not to do so. E considers the choice between spending $25 a week on booze, and saving it for a vacation.
4. E isn’t sloppy in his displays of inner monologue. He approaches others with a full understanding of what they, the audience, do not find acceptable, or are expecting from him.
5. E cares about his appearance but not to obsession. E purchases new business casual clothing items, especially button down shirts, on a monthly basis. E keeps his clothes ironed, hung or in a drawer. He dresses as part of the overall New E Aesthetic, or way of being–not in anticipation of higher ups finding him capable of more responsibility due to the way he dresses, or in anticipation of young ladies wanting to date him based on the way he dresses.
E does pause to pay attention to what is fashionable to men, but doesn’t obsess over it, or attempt to own particular labels.
E does some type of physical activity every day beyond the basic dog walking. Ideally, E at least does 100 crunches in the morning and evening, and 25 pushups in the morning and evening. E also runs for at least 30 min each day. This is not to realize a particular “model body,” but to stay in all around peak fitness above average but below obsession.
6. E seeks out one social or cultural activity a week. He freely goes by himself, with the understanding that he is doing this to improve himself, not in desperate hopes of meeting a special someone.
7. E attends church twice a month. Same sort of thing here.
8. E spends his down time learning about the economy and financial markets. E does this to better understand the world he lives in, make something of his tendency to assimilate wide varieties of knowledge, and participate in a grown-up activity that is less licentious than straight gambling or strip clubs.
The other purpose of this exercise is for E to see himself less and less as a web guy, and more and more of a man of business. E will look toward being an investor, rather than an entrepreneur or wage slave.
E will NOT get caught up in the love and interest of money for its own sake. The focus is always on seeing the markets as a gauge for human activity, human progress, and always reflecting back on how anything taking place in the markets benefits the welfare and stability of society.
9. E enters the outside world with a clear-headed vision of the Ideal E, the New E Aesthetic. He relies on this vision to inform his behavior, rather than waiting for others to provide clues for him to react to and modify his behavior. E ignores those who are disappointed in or disapproving of the E aesthetic. E refuses to become enmired in conversations of petty arguing about politics, celebrities and local drama. E stays informed of these things, and participates by voting and making life decisions, but is circumspect in his choice of conversation partners and friends–attempting to maximize time spent among grown-ups sharing innovative, grown-up ideas, and minimize time spent discussing television shows and sports.
E avoids anyone who is especially rabid and with an agenda, be they on “his side” of politics and religion, or not. E appreciates open forums, inclusiveness, diversity, listeners, sharers of wide varieties of ideas and topics–those who carry on rich inner lives and have deeper, wiser appreciations for the world he lives in.
10. E continues to give of his time with new volunteering opportunities, but looks more and more outside of the United Way and charity dogmas for how to help others in his community.
11. E carries in his vision of the New E Aesthetic a world traveler, a man walking streets in major cities, appreciating museums, cafes, architecture, booksellers, wine bars, etc. E saves his money to travel once every six months. — Once a year to a major American city, once a year to a European city or country.
12. E stays on top of the value of his condo purchase. This is an investment to be sold when the time is right. E invests some of his tax credit in a high growth, no load mutual fund–like an Asian market one.