i’m really close now to ending it

i’m really close now to ending it–the messiness, the unwanted character traits, the unneeded things. i hate to proclaim it, but i want to proclaim it: i think i’ve found something that can preoccupy my time for years to come without turning into just another diversion/distraction/detour.

from september of last year until now, it has been a rather rocky road. i immersed myself heavily in booze, m and passive entertainment. over $3K expenses came up on the car, and it’s still falling apart. my work environment has gone from being one where i can at least feel like i’m going in, doing my job and leaving to being one of utter chaos and unhappiness.

however, as i realized after j and l commandeered all things marketing last year, within any obstacle in life there is always the promise of an opportunity. the cs almost gig is an example. just proof that good things can come out of crisis and tragedy.

i had no intention of spending the year immersed in sloppy behavior, nor did i want to have another 2009, 08, 07, 06…etc. where i think i’ve seized upon IT, the magical thing to consume my time and take me somewhere, only to discover that at the end of the rainbow are people promising me more rainbow and hard work. which would be okay if a pot of gold popped up now and then to spur me on. all meant to be absolutely metaphorical, of course.

the possessions have been culled down to a tight collection of “must have’s” only. very few unnecessary things left. a few books i have yet the urge to part with, and some art, photos and writings.

i’ve been approved to go track down a $150K condo. it’s my belief that this will help me save my money better, instead of spending it on countless trips to the coffee shop and corner store. though, one of the condos that really charms me is located directly behind the coffee shop which is between the condo and work.

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