what is happening right now cannot be completely understood by the likes of you. no matter how high you aim, your trajectory will be weak, and fall short of its mark. most people are headed in the wrong direction, they are fearful and violent. a few are fearless and violent, and a handful more are fearful and peaceful. to be completely empty of fear, and completely full of peace, is to be Jesus himself, which you are not, but you can sure try. better to die trying to be this way, then to die a violent death wrought by a careless temper.
you lose your temper all the time when you get behind the wheel. this has got to stop. most people aren’t trying to make your travel experience a miserable one, and the ones that are, typically have more guns and balls than you do.
you’ve been so angry because you can’t bring yourself to feel completely okay with whatever God decides for your life, as if you can control or change it, anyway.
don’t be jealous of those who succeeded where you’d hoped to, because a slight shift in this reality, a change in the way we all do business, will render their success meaningless. don’t gloat if this happens, either, because it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll become successful.
you can’t know the future, you never could.
you should never be in the business of judging others, no matter how inviting it looks. refrain from judging even the worst of the worst–if you believe in God, then you believe in justice beyond the thin veil covering revenge that men exact.
don’t underestimate the number of people you’ve helped, but don’t boast about what you do to help others, either. someone is keeping score, accounting this.
of course, it’s often hilarious to people to watch you be so eager to offer a helping hand. some find it cute, as if you are mildly retarded–a grown man should busy himself with serving himself. others sneer at you with contempt–this is not a world for kind idiots, he can join the old ladies at the local charity and help the human refuse that piles up there. even some of the local charities no longer want to get their hands dirty–help those who are willing and able to help themselves.
letting go of all the little things you still hang onto has been the hardest part. you have cherished notions about yourself and others, and they have rendered you blind. don’t hang on to faces and places that will be of no help to you at any time in the rest of your life. don’t hang on to things you keep in the dark from everyone you know. one day, you will have to resolve all sides of yourself and integrate them, and be accountable for them, or the worst parts of you will drag all of you down.
don’t hang on to youth, but don’t destroy your body, either. don’t take life for granted, but don’t keep it locked away in a room at home, either. you are beyond the age where death seemed so cool, beyond the age where it was poetry, beyond the age where it was an intellectual exercise, beyond the age where it was more than you could bear. death is just there, deal with it and be done.
what’s happening right now in places like india and africa could come to your door any day now. the fabric that holds the darkness back from all of us upon these shores is not so strong, not that it ever was. a trampled walmart worker could be multiplied by thousands if it were food, or a vaccine for a rapidly spreading deadly pandemic.